Mars as seen by the Hubble Space Telescope
| This is a work in progress: lots of writing, formatting, revising, proofing left to do! — David McMurrey |
The chapter on weak coordination points out that joining independent clauses with a coordinating conunction such as and can cause weak, limp-noodle writing. To fix problems involving weak coordination, you transform coordinated elements into subordinated elements. The next sections explain the concepts of coordination and subordination.
First, make sure you understand how coordination in writing works. Remember coordination is happening whenever two or more words, phrases, or clauses are joined by a coordinating conjunction—specifically, and, or, nor, but, yet, and for. As the following examples show, two or more of any type of grammatical structure can be coordinated—that is, joined by a coordinating conjunction:
Coordinated words:
Early in the twentieth century, beliefs in the existence of Martians drew heavily on scientific and political analogies with life on Earth.
During the first decade of the sixteenth century Nicolaus Copernicus, a distinguished mathematician and astronomer, attempted to revise Ptolemy’s Almagest.
In the first example, two adjectives are coordinated—joined by and. In the second, two nouns are joined by and.
Coordinated noun phrases: The Second World War saw the development of radar and then the building of the giant radio telescopes, laying the groundwork for SETI research.
Here, two noun phrases are joined. Think of a noun phrase as a noun with lots of other words—usually in the form of adjectives, adverbs, and prepositional phrases—stuck onto it.
Coordinated prepositional phrases: After Copernicus, new generations of astronomers began to dream of worlds beyond our solar system and even of the possibility of extraterrestrial life.
Here, two prepositional phrases are coordinated. While and is the most popular conjunction here, remember that most of the other coordinating conjunctions can play this game too.
Coordinated participial phrases: In 1978, NASA's Einstein satellite equipped with an X-ray telescope was launched, thus initiating the era of X-ray astronomy and providing fresh information about quasars, neutron stars and black holes.
A participial phrase is a phrase built on -ing or on variants of -ed suffixes. Here, initiating and providing introduce the two participial phrases, respectively.
Coordinated infinitive phrases: In 1902, Lord Kelvin, the British physicist, announced his belief that the well-lit New York was the best place for Martians to observe our human world and to make contact with us.
An infinitive is the word to plus a verb. An infinitive phrase is the infinitive plus all the words stuck onto it. In this case, to observe and to make contact kick off the infinitive phrases in this example.
Coordinated dependent clauses: However, Nicolaus Copernicus came to the conclusion that the Sun had to be located at the center of the cosmos and that the Earth, Moon and the planets all circle the Sun.
In his example, both dependent clauses are introduced by that; they are joined by and.
Coordinated compound predicates:
Copernicus had been educated in the scholastic tradition and sought to show how his theory was supported by ancient authorities.
Contact with extraterrestrial supercivilizations has a long history in science fiction and has undoubtedly influenced progressive scientists who believe that mankind might one day benefit from such contact.
Here, Contact is the subject for two predicates, one beginning with has a long history and the other beginning with has undoubtedly influenced progressive scientists.
Coordinated independent clauses: During the 1920s, Marconi believed that he too had discovered Martian signals, but he could not get independent verification.
In this example, you have two complete sentences—two independent clauses—coordinated by the conjunction but.
Next, make sure you understand how subordination in writing works. As you'll understand the term here, subordination is the transformation of an independent clause into a dependent clause, an extended phrase (such as a gerund, participial, or infinitive phrase), or a simple noun phrase (or single noun).
Sentence with weak coordinated elements: Both the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI) and science fiction address issues such as life on other worlds, and they address the conquest of space, and they address communication with advanced cultures and the possibility of a galactic community.
Subordination with brief noun phrases: Both the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI) and science fiction address issues such as life on other worlds, conquest of space, communication with advanced cultures, and the possibility of a galactic community.
Notice how subordination reduces the word count in the second version.
Sentence with weak coordinated elements: There is a wealth of science fiction and scientific speculation on the origins of the universe and life itself, and professional philosophers have shown little interest in space exploration.
Notice how the use of and here is stupid and meaningless—a prime example of weak coordination.
Subordination with phrases: Despite a wealth of science fiction and scientific speculation on the origins of the universe and life itself, professional philosophers have shown little interest in space exploration.
Sentence with weak coordinated elements: Some believe that extraterrestrials are visiting Earth, and they are assisted by energy sources, and we cannot comprehend these sources.
Even stupider . .
Subordination with dependent clauses: Some believe tha extraterrestrials are visiting Earth with the assistance of energy sources that we cannot comprehend.
As you can see, you have several choices on how to subordinate clauses with weak coordination:
This process will seem similiar when you study the chapter on word, phrase, clause transformations. In that chapter, you see how you can get more verbal room by transforming a word to a phrase or clause or by transforming phrase to a clause. You also see how you can economize on words by transforming the other direction: from clause to phrase or word or from phrase to word.
The main point of the chapter on weak coordination is that weak coordination obscures the relationship between the independent clauses joined by the coordinating conjunction. You are getting a very weak signal as to their logical connection. When you subordinate independent clauses, you clarify and even emphasize how those two elements are related.
Coordinated and subordinated elements are just too obvious to identify. Sorry.
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