Paragraph Coordination & Subordination

Some important ways of thinking about the structure of your writing—both during the rough-drafting stage and during the revision stage—involve the concepts of coordination and subordination.

These concepts apply at all levels of a document—from the individual sentence, to the paragraph, to a section of a document, to a whole document itself. While studying how to use these concepts on sentences can help improve clarity and continuity in your writing, the concepts of coordination and subordination can give you a powerful perspective on the structure of your paragraphs and your document as a whole. They enable you to see where you can splice in detail.

Here's a link to someone who likes this concept.

First, coordination. Two elements are "coordinated" when they are at the same level, providing information that is somehow equal. Consider these two sentences:

Austin is the capital of Texas.
Sacramento is the capital of California.

These two sentences exist at the same level. They are all "coordinate" to each other. Sentence 2 in no way comments on or adds detail to sentence 1. You can imagine 48 more sentences making these kind of statements. As stupidly simple as they are, they would all be "coordinate" to each other.

Now, subordination. Things change, however, when you add the obvious topic sentence to these state-capital sentences:

Each state in the U.S. has its own capital city:
Austin is the capital of Texas.
Sacramento is the capital of California.

Sentences 2 and 3 are subordinate to sentence 1. They provide detail, elaborating on sentence 1. Sentences 2 and 3 are still "coordinate" to each other, but "subordinate" to sentence 1. To visually represent this subordination, sentences 2 and 3 are indented beneath sentence 1.

Here's another example:

Neptune is the eighth and outermost planet in our solar system. It is the fourth-largest planet by diameter and the third-largest by mass. Neptune is 17 times the mass of Earth and is slightly more massive than its near twin Uranus which is 14 Earth Masses, but slightly smaller due to its higher density. The planet is named after the Roman god of the sea.

In this set, details about Neptune's location, size and mass, and name are provided in a series of coordinate sentences. You could argue that the sentence beginning Neptune is 17 times... is subordinate to the preceding because it elaborates on the size of Neptune. That just shows you're thinking!

As you have seen, sentences are coordinate to each other when they provide the same level of detail. As a writer, you use coordinate detail when you want to present a lot of specific detail about a topic. Consider these examples:

• You are writing about Mars: you have a string sentences about its location in the solar system, its atmosphere, its orbital characteristics, and so on. These would probably be corrdinate sentences.
• You are writing persuasively in favor of a political candidate: you fire off a string of coordinate sentences, each one stating another reason to vote for your candidate.
• You are discussing an intriguing new technology: you write a string of sentences that explain potential applications of that new technology.
• You describe some as yet unexplained natural phenomenon: a following sequences of coordinate sentence present likely causes of that phenomenon, one after another.

Consider this example of a string of coordinately related sentences that lack a topic sentence:

Neptune is the eighth and outermost planet in our solar system.
It is the fourth-largest planet by diameter and the third-largest by mass.
Neptune is 17 times the mass of Earth and is slightly more massive than its near twin Uranus which is 14 Earth Masses, but slightly smaller due to its higher density.
The planet is named after the Roman god of the sea.

Here, the three sentences state details about Neptune's location, size and mass (in one long sentence), and name. Each provides a different of detail, each is coordinate to the others.

Sentences can be coordinate for a number of reasons as the following table shows:

As you saw in the overview section, a sentence can be subordinate to another one when it provides more about detail about, comments on, or modifies that preceding sentence. While the coordinate pattern seems to cover a lot of detail—a lot of ground—at the same level, the subordinate pattern goes into deeper and deeper levels of detail.

Recall that Neptune example in the preceding. Notice that in this version the middle sentence has been divided into two. Notice that the second part provides spectifcs on the first part, making it suordinate to the first part:

Neptune is the eighth and outermost planet in our solar system.
It is the fourth-largest planet by diameter and the third-largest by mass.
Neptune is 17 times the mass of Earth and is slightly more massive than
its near twin.
The planet is named after the Roman god of the sea.

Notice how the third sentence in this version supplies specific detail on the size and mass of the Neptune. This third sentence is subordinate to the second sentence.

Here's another example:

One difference between Neptune and Uranus is the level of meteorological activity.
Uranus is visually quite bland, while Neptune's high winds come with notable
weather phenomena.
Neptune's atmosphere has the highest wind speeds in the solar system,
thought to be powered by the flow of internal heat.
The planet is characterized by extremely violent hurricanes, with winds reaching
up to 2000 km/h.

Sentence 1 is a topic sentence: it forecasts the focus of the paragraph—in this case, meteorological activity. Sentence 2 provides some detail about that activity, specifically, the high winds; it is subordinate to sentence 1. Sentence 3 provides a causal explanation for those high winds: the flow of internal heat; it is subordinate to sentence 2. Sentence 4 shifts the focus to another aspect of Neptune's meteorological activity, violent hurricanes; it is coordinate to sentence 3. The sentences focusing on wind speeds and hurricanes are coordinate to each other.

Sentences can be subordinate for a number of reasons as the following table shows:

Analyzing the coordinate and subordinate relationships between sentences is not an exact science by any means. It is valuable as a way of orienting yourself when you are writing a rough draft and when you are revising that rough draft. To see how inexact this analysis can be, study the examples in the next section.

For more practice identifying coordinate and subordinate relationships between sentences, study the following diagrams:

Shortly after its discovery, Neptune was referred to simply as "the planet exterior to Uranus" or as "Le Verrier's planet."
The first suggestion for a formal name came from Galle.
He proposed the name Janus.
In England, Challis put forth the name Oceanus, particularly appropriate for the seafaring English people.
In France, Arago suggested that the new planet be called Leverrier, a suggestion which was met with stiff resistance outside France.

In the preceding, there are four coordinate statements about the naming of Neptune. There are two subordinate sentences: the first states who prposed the name; the second states what that name was.

Orbiting so far from the sun, Neptune receives very little heat with the uppermost
regions of the atmosphere at -218°C (55 K).
Deeper inside the layers of gas, however, the temperature rises steadily.
It is thought that this may be leftover heat generated by infalling matter during
the planet's birth, now slowly radiating away into space.

In this example, the first two sentences are coordinate to each other: they provide contrastive detail about temperatures at different levels in Neptune's atmosphere. The third sentence attempts to explain the greater heat at lower atmospheric levels.

1 The closest approach of Voyager 2 to Neptune occurred on August 25, 1989.
2 This probe discovered the Great Dark Spot, which has since disappeared, according
3 to Hubble Space Telescope observations.
4 Originally thought to be a large cloud itself, it was later postulated to be a hole
5 in the visible cloud deck.
6 Voyager 2 was also able to measure Neptune's winds.
7 It turned out to have the strongest winds of all the solar system's gas giants,
8 with estimates as high as 2,500 km/h or 1,500 mph.
9 This discovery defied all expectations of scientists.
10 They had expected that with the sun shining over 1000 times fainter
11 than on Earth, there would be less energy to produce winds.
12 On Neptune, however, there is so little energy, that once winds are
13 started, they meet very little resistance and are able to maintain
14 extremely high velocities.

Sentences 1, 2, and 4 are coordinate to each other because they make three equal-level statements about Voyager 2: the date of its approach, its discovery, its measurement. Sentence 3 is subordinate to sentence 2 because it makes a further comment on the Great Dark Spot. Sentence 5 is subordinate to sentence 4 for the ssame reason: it provides details on those wind measurements. Sentence 6 is, in turn, subordinate to sentence 5: it makes a further comment on the preceding sentence. Sentence 7 is further subordinate because it explains what scientists' expectations had been. The last sentence is coordinate to sentence 7 because it provides equal-level, contrastive information.

How can you use this kind of structural view of your writing? First, it is obviously a good way to check for organization. More powerfully, however, this approach enables you to sense what else you might say about your topic. Once you've got a sense of the structure of the sentences, paragraphs, or sections, you can start asking yourself "should I add more same-level detail here?" or "should I add deeper-level detail here?" You're likely to find spots where you could have said more, making your discussion more complete and explanatory or convincing or achieving whatever purpose you were trying to accomplish.